She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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