Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
accomplished twins. life is a go
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
