it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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