thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
