You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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