So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
