so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
