We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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