He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
