Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
