Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
