Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
