...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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