whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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