so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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