she kept yelling 'call me bella'
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
false alarm, still single
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