i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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