I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize