Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
