what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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