Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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