We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
