I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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