If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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