Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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