I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
