I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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