we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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