dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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