We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
