You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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