Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
