oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
