Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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