Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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