I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
