idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
