yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
