id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
