That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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