even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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