So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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