I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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