My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
