i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize