Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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