For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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