you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have feelings that need drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize