They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
