Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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