she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
