I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
