Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
