Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
