You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
