How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize