People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
