pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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