Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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