once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
