Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
