all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
